can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
