twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
