I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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