For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i've created a new STD.
Sorry about my life...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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