return my video game
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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