Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
