How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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