you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
