yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
