I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
