Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
