After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
