I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
