She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
