i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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