yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
