Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
