K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
