she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We left the knife in your bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
