Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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