NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
