note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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