We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
