If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
