i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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