sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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