God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
