watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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