at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am naked and annoyed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I had to cum in my sink.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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