I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
