Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
