I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
