we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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