we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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