i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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