i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
