pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
