hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
