so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
are you so shy because you have an std?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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