Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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