he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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