id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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