didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
