its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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