great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Farmville is her only friend.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
