he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
