And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
