One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
