I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
