nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
