Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Everything about him screamed your future.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
